Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
