I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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