if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
