i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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