you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize