VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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