You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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