honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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