Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
