By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Jerry, you need to find god
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
