Sponge bath it is.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
