I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
