glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
