I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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