I take back everything I said about communal showers
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
