found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
