I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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