i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
