she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
