He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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