i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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