Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
