it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you win again, gameday.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
