Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
