Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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