You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
