i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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