At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
