holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize