why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
