omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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