are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
