An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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