i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
