mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
