she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
