I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
