You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
It was confusing and full of hummus
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize