I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize