I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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