you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
