im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize