sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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