i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
so much tequila, so little girl.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
