No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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