The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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