Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
