This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
