Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
