Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
