White coat. Heels.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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