so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
