wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
did i walk over a car last night?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
