I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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