she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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