just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
