My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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