Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
