real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
