Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
