Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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