we're chasing vodka with high fives
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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