I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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