Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
