the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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