i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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