Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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