Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
