Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
