i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize